{"id":1032,"date":"2015-09-13T11:04:49","date_gmt":"2015-09-13T10:04:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/petrsagitarius.snkjablunkov.cz\/?p=1032"},"modified":"2015-09-13T11:04:49","modified_gmt":"2015-09-13T10:04:49","slug":"jmenuji-se","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2015\/09\/13\/jmenuji-se\/","title":{"rendered":"Jmenuji se&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Od t\u00e9 doby, co mnoh\u00fdm do\u0161lo, \u017ee \u010dlov\u011bk je ve sv\u00e9 podstat\u011b p\u011bkn\u00fd hajzl\u00edk a pokud se lidstvo nevzpamatuje, p\u016fjde sv\u011bt do kopru, v\u017edy se tu a tam objevil n\u011bjak\u00fd osv\u00edcen\u00fd prorok, kter\u00fd n\u00e1s sv\u00fdm u\u010den\u00edm cht\u011bl polep\u0161it, nejl\u00e9pe spasit. Vesm\u011bs skon\u010dil blb\u011b a nic se nezm\u011bnilo. D\u00e1l zab\u00edj\u00edme, l\u017eeme, krademe, pomlouv\u00e1me sousedy a vol\u00edme populisty. T\u011bmi, kdo p\u0159i\u0161li s origin\u00e1ln\u00edm receptem na z\u00e1chranu sv\u011bta, nejsou Kristus, Mohamed, Marx, Chuck Norris, Andrej Babi\u0161 \u010di jin\u00ed velc\u00ed myslitel\u00e9. Spasitel se jmenuje Earl&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Kn\u00edrat\u00fd buran ve flanelov\u00e9 ko\u0161ili z fiktivn\u00edho americk\u00e9ho vidl\u00e1kova, notorick\u00fd zlod\u011bj a budi\u017ekni\u010demu, pubert\u00e1ln\u00ed t\u0159ic\u00e1tn\u00edk bez vzd\u011bl\u00e1n\u00ed, kter\u00fd se ned\u00edv\u00e1 na \u010dernob\u00edl\u00e9 filmy, proto\u017ee mu p\u0159ipom\u00ednaj\u00ed noviny, origin\u00e1ln\u00ed mudrlant, dojde k osv\u00edcen\u00ed, kdy\u017e jej sraz\u00ed auto. \u201ePoka\u017ed\u00e9, kdy\u017e se mi stane n\u011bco dobr\u00fdho, \u010dek\u00e1 na m\u011b za rohem n\u011bco zl\u00fdho. Karma! Uv\u011bdomil jsem si, \u017ee se mus\u00edm zm\u011bnit. Tak jsem si ud\u011blal seznam v\u0161ech lump\u00e1ren, co jsem kdy provedl a za\u010dal jsem sv\u00fd chyby jednu po druh\u00fd napravovat. Sna\u017e\u00edm se b\u00fdt lep\u0161\u00edm \u010dlov\u011bkem\u201c, promluvil k Earlovi jeho vnit\u0159n\u00ed hlas pot\u00e9, co ve \u0161pit\u00e1le zhl\u00e9dl show druho\u0159ad\u00e9ho komika, kter\u00fd princip p\u0159\u00ed\u010din a n\u00e1sledk\u016f \u017eertem zm\u00ednil. Netu\u0161il, \u017ee s karmou p\u0159i\u0161el u\u017e Buddha, on ji pouze uvedl v \u017eivot. Na kus \u017elut\u00e9ho pap\u00edrku na\u010dm\u00e1ral halabala sv\u00e9 \u0161patn\u00e9 skutky jako nap\u0159\u00edklad, \u017ee ubl\u00ed\u017eil jednonoh\u00e9 holce \u010di ukradl st\u00e1nek na hotdogy, a \u0161krtal je a\u017e pot\u00e9, co je od\u010dinil. Kdyby tak u\u010dinil ka\u017ed\u00fd, m\u00e1me na sv\u011bt\u011b do p\u016fl roku r\u00e1j\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Americk\u00fd sitcom \u201eJmenuji se Earl\u201c postaven\u00fd na jednoduch\u00e9, nicm\u00e9n\u011b geni\u00e1ln\u00ed my\u0161lence, je nejen vtipn\u00fd, ale hlavn\u011b nesm\u00edrn\u011b pozitivn\u00ed. Stejn\u011b jako po zhl\u00e9dnut\u00ed kter\u00e9hokoliv d\u00edlu Simpson\u016f nebo Teorie Velk\u00e9ho t\u0159esku, eventu\u00e1ln\u011b P\u0159\u00e1tel \u010di Jak jsem poznal va\u0161i matku, z\u016fstane \u010dlov\u011bku na tv\u00e1\u0159i \u00fasm\u011bv a v du\u0161i dobr\u00fd pocit. Je v p\u0159\u00edm\u00e9m protikladu k temn\u00fdm depresivn\u00edm seri\u00e1l\u016fm, kter\u00e9 div\u00e1ka p\u0159iv\u00e1d\u011bj\u00ed k nezdrav\u00fdm sympati\u00edm k hlavn\u00edm hrdin\u016fm, kte\u0159\u00ed jsou vesm\u011bs bezcitn\u00fdmi masov\u00fdmi vrahy, viz. Nucky Thompson (Imperium \u2013 Mafie v Atlantic city) nebo Ragnar Lothbrok (Vikingov\u00e9). Nemluv\u011b o vysloven\u011b chor\u00e9m Dexterovi, kter\u00fd je ukojen\u00edm p\u0159edstav psychopatick\u00fdch autor\u016f, u nich\u017e je lep\u0161\u00ed, kdy\u017e to\u010d\u00ed filmy, ne\u017e kdyby sadisticky vra\u017edili\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Earl je na\u0161\u00ed inspirac\u00ed, uk\u00e1zal n\u00e1m spr\u00e1vnou cestu. Vzal jsem pap\u00edr a tu\u017eku a za\u010dal sepisovat. 1. V prvn\u00ed t\u0159\u00edd\u011b jsem nastavil spolu\u017e\u00e1kovi nohu, kdy\u017e b\u011b\u017eel uli\u010dkou mezi lavicemi. 2. Ukradl jsem kamar\u00e1dovi fotku Vinnetoua. 3\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026.358, 359\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026?<\/p>\n<p>Kon\u010d\u00edm, po\u010dty mi nikdy ne\u0161ly\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2015\/09\/13\/jmenuji-se\/\">\u010c\u00edst v\u00edce&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nezarazene"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1032","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1032"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1032\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1032"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1032"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1032"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}