{"id":1559,"date":"2016-02-05T16:50:38","date_gmt":"2016-02-05T15:50:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/petrsagitarius.snkjablunkov.cz\/?p=1559"},"modified":"2016-02-05T16:50:38","modified_gmt":"2016-02-05T15:50:38","slug":"bzum-bzum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2016\/02\/05\/bzum-bzum\/","title":{"rendered":"Bzum, bzum&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Po\u010d\u00e1tek \u010dlov\u011bka i jeho mo\u017en\u00fd konec m\u00e1 spole\u010dn\u00e9ho jmenovatele. Je j\u00edm africk\u00e1 Uganda. V t\u011bchto kon\u010din\u00e1ch se objevili prvn\u00ed hominid\u00e9, stejn\u011b tak viry Ebola a Zika. Ob\u011b smrteln\u00e9 choroby byly poprv\u00e9 identifikov\u00e1ny u zdej\u0161\u00edch opic. Z prim\u00e1t\u016f jsme vze\u0161li a s nimi m\u016f\u017eeme tak\u00e9 padnout. Vid\u00edm za t\u00edm ironii Stvo\u0159itele, kter\u00fd seslal na lidstvo pomstu za na\u0161e h\u0159\u00edchy. N\u011bco jako potopu, mor \u010di kuponovou privatizaci. Pokud se v\u010das nevzpamatujeme, m\u016f\u017ee mu to tentokr\u00e1t vyj\u00edt. Pandemie hr\u016fzn\u00e9 Eboly je\u0161t\u011b po\u0159\u00e1dn\u011b neodezn\u011bla a u\u017e se \u0161\u00ed\u0159\u00ed panika, \u017ee se n\u00e1m budou po bodnut\u00ed kom\u00e1ra tropick\u00e9ho, kter\u00fd virus p\u0159en\u00e1\u0161\u00ed, rodit sam\u00ed blbe\u010dci, kter\u00fdch je na sv\u011bt\u011b dost i bez z\u00e1ke\u0159n\u00e9ho hmyzu\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159ed p\u00e1r dny byla \u010desk\u00e1 Wikipedie viru Zika prost\u00e1, n\u00e1\u0161 Centr\u00e1ln\u00ed mozek ji v\u016fbec neregistroval. Vyhled\u00e1va\u010d se ptal, zda nemysl\u00edm jej\u00edho brazilsk\u00e9ho kolegu \u201eZica\u201c, slavn\u00e9ho fotbalistu. Kdy\u017e se o n\u00ed p\u0159ed t\u00fddnem za\u010dalo hromadn\u011b ps\u00e1t, je\u0161t\u011b jsem si po\u0165ouchle pobrukoval p\u00edsni\u010dku \u201eKom\u00e1\u0159i se \u017eenili, bzum, bzum, \u017eenili\u201c. Virus se b\u011bhem \u0161edes\u00e1ti let p\u0159est\u011bhoval z Afriky do ji\u017en\u00ed Ameriky, odkud pobodan\u00ed kom\u00e1ry rozv\u00e1\u017eej\u00ed Ziku do sv\u011bta, a po\u010det naka\u017een\u00fdch prudce stoup\u00e1. Konec legrace, situace je velmi, ale velmi v\u00e1\u017en\u00e1\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Mezin\u00e1rodn\u00ed olympijsk\u00fd v\u00fdbor okam\u017eit\u011b reagoval a na\u0159\u00eddil zakr\u00fdt moskyti\u00e9rou v\u0161echna otev\u0159en\u00e1 sportovi\u0161t\u011b v Rio de Janeiru b\u011bhem nadch\u00e1zej\u00edc\u00edch her. V\u0161ichni sportovci pak budou povinn\u011b p\u0159i sout\u011b\u017e\u00edch nosit neopren, ly\u017ea\u0159sk\u00e9 br\u00fdle a nat\u00edrat si nechr\u00e1n\u011bn\u00e1 m\u00edsta na obli\u010deji repelentem. P\u0159esto\u017ee bude sex b\u011bhem Olympi\u00e1dy p\u0159\u00edsn\u011b zak\u00e1z\u00e1n, kondomy nafasuj\u00ed v\u0161ichni \u00fa\u010dastn\u00edci her. Ka\u017ed\u00e1 z\u00e1vodnice absolvuje je\u0161t\u011b p\u0159ed odletem t\u011bhotensk\u00fd test, pakli\u017ee se uk\u00e1\u017ee jako pozitivn\u00ed, z\u016fstane doma\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Americk\u00e1 zpravodajsk\u00e1 slu\u017eba CIA p\u0159i\u0161la s tvrzen\u00edm, \u017ee kom\u00e1ry zmutovali Rusov\u00e9 a jako biologickou zbra\u0148 je vypustili na zahrad\u011b sv\u00e9ho konzul\u00e1tu v Riu. Jde \u00fadajn\u011b o odvetu za obvin\u011bn\u00ed rusk\u00fdch atlet\u016f z dopingu a jejich vylou\u010den\u00ed z olympijsk\u00fdch her\u2026<\/p>\n<p>V\u011bdci z Lomonosovovy univerzity v Moskv\u011b p\u0159edpov\u00eddaj\u00ed, \u017ee pandemii p\u0159e\u017eij\u00ed jen Rusov\u00e9, Laponci a Inuit\u00e9, nebo\u0165 tropick\u00fd kom\u00e1r za \u0161edes\u00e1tou rovnob\u011b\u017ekou severn\u00ed \u0161\u00ed\u0159ky zmrzne jak Hitler pod Moskvou. Kolem roku 2030 vznikne na \u00fazem\u00ed severn\u00edho Ruska, Skandin\u00e1vie, Islandu, Gr\u00f3nska, Kanady a Alja\u0161ky Svaz sov\u011btsk\u00fdch komunistick\u00fdch republik. V\u0161ichni, kte\u0159\u00ed nesta\u010dili v\u010das imigrovat na sever, postupn\u011b zdementn\u00ed. Na opa\u010dn\u00e9 stran\u011b polokoule p\u0159e\u017eij\u00ed jen obyvatel\u00e9 Oh\u0148ov\u00e9 zem\u011b, ze kter\u00e9 se \u010dasem stane kolonie SSKR\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Jako nejpravd\u011bpodobn\u011bj\u0161\u00ed se mi ov\u0161em jev\u00ed progn\u00f3za, se kterou p\u0159i\u0161el profesor V\u00e1clav Klaus z Institutu V\u00e1clava Klause. Jedin\u00fdm st\u00e1tem na sv\u011bt\u011b, kter\u00e9mu se smrteln\u00e1 pandemie vyhne a kter\u00fd p\u0159e\u017eije, bude \u010cesk\u00e1 republika. Op\u00edr\u00e1 se o chystan\u00fd projev Milo\u0161e Zemana, ve kter\u00e9m prezident, stejn\u011b jako d\u0159\u00edve migrant\u016fm, vzk\u00e1\u017ee v\u0161em naka\u017eliv\u00fdm kom\u00e1r\u016fm, \u017ee je tady nikdo nezval, a\u0165 se vr\u00e1t\u00ed nebo let\u00ed jinam. Leda\u017ee by se p\u0159izp\u016fsobili na\u0161im \u010desk\u00fdm kom\u00e1r\u016fm a pili n\u00e1m krev bez zdravotn\u00edho rizika pro \u0159\u00e1dn\u00e9 ob\u010dany st\u00e1tu. Strach z na\u0161\u00ed nen\u00e1vistn\u00e9 xenofobie zastavil proud migrant\u016f do \u010ceska, zastav\u00ed i kom\u00e1ry\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Kom\u00e1r le\u017e\u00ed v komo\u0159e<br \/>\nbzum bzum v komo\u0159e<br \/>\nmu\u0161ka pl\u00e1\u010de na dvo\u0159e\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2016\/02\/05\/bzum-bzum\/\">\u010c\u00edst v\u00edce&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nezarazene"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1559"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}