Kdy\u017e po sob\u011b v kultovn\u00edm s\u00e9rii Star Wars st\u0159\u00edlej\u00ed st\u00edha\u010dky Imp\u00e9ria a rebel\u016f, je to krav\u00e1l jak ve \u0161koln\u00ed j\u00eddeln\u011b. Nikomu zd\u00e1 se nevad\u00ed, \u017ee se zvuk v kosmick\u00e9m prostoru, respektive ve vakuu ne\u0161\u00ed\u0159\u00ed. Skute\u010dn\u00fd Vesm\u00edr p\u0159ipom\u00edn\u00e1 n\u011bm\u00fd film. Kdy\u017e za\u010dne kapit\u00e1n Han Solo p\u00e1lit z kulomet\u016f sv\u00e9 lodi \u201eSokol tis\u00edcilet\u00ed\u201c, m\u011bly by spr\u00e1vn\u011b obraz doprov\u00e1zet titulky \u201eratatatata\u2026bum\u201c. Ne\u017e by slavn\u00fd kapit\u00e1n Kirk ze seri\u00e1lu Star Trek doplachtil v bezt\u00ed\u017en\u00e9m stavu na velitelsk\u00fd m\u016fstek, p\u0159ip\u00e1sal se ke sv\u00e9mu polstrovan\u00e9mu k\u0159eslu a neohro\u017een\u011b zavelel \u201eM\u00e1te to m\u00edt! Nabijte phasery a palte v\u0161\u00edm, co m\u00e1me\u201c, byla by jeho starship USS Enterprise d\u00e1vno na ka\u0161i. Ve v\u011bt\u0161in\u011b sci-fi film\u016f ov\u0161em gravita\u010dn\u00ed z\u00e1kon nikdo ne\u0159e\u0161\u00ed a hrdinov\u00e9 \u0161pac\u00edruj\u00ed po palub\u00e1ch kosmick\u00fdch lod\u00ed jak po V\u00e1clav\u00e1ku. Tv\u016frci i div\u00e1ci v\u011bd\u00ed, \u017ee jde o poh\u00e1dky, v Popelce taky nikdo nezkoum\u00e1, jak je mo\u017en\u00e9, \u017ee se do o\u0159echu vejdou vy\u017eehlen\u00e9 \u0161aty v\u010detn\u011b st\u0159ev\u00edc\u016f a korunky\u2026<\/p>\n
Mnohem v\u00edc m\u011b irituj\u00ed americk\u00e9 ak\u010dn\u00ed filmy, ve kter\u00fdch se zcela b\u011b\u017en\u011b pop\u00edraj\u00ed z\u00e1konitosti fyziologie \u010dlov\u011bka, nav\u00edc se tv\u00e1\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee jde o v\u011brn\u00e9 zobrazen\u00ed syrov\u00e9 reality. Hrdinov\u00e9 se dlouh\u00e9 minuty tlu\u010dou p\u011bstmi do obli\u010dej\u016f, do hlav, ani\u017e by si zp\u0159er\u00e1\u017eeli nosy, sanice, l\u00edcn\u00ed kosti \u010di prsty, ani\u017e by utrp\u011bli ot\u0159es mozku. Vrcholem \u201ereality\u201c je tak maxim\u00e1ln\u011b vyra\u017een\u00fd zub, kter\u00fd borec pohrdav\u011b vyplivne a rve se d\u00e1l. Vznik\u00e1 tak iluze plechov\u00e9 dr\u017eky a chlapsk\u00e9ho zp\u016fsobu zne\u0161kodn\u011bn\u00ed protivn\u00edka. M\u016fj zn\u00e1m\u00fd se dostal na z\u00e1bav\u011b v Byst\u0159ici do strkanice s dv\u011bma opilci. Patrn\u011b si cht\u011bl dok\u00e1zat, \u017ee si v ni\u010dem nezad\u00e1 s Brucem Willisem, a tak jednoho z nich ude\u0159il p\u011bst\u00ed do obli\u010deji a zlomil si mal\u00ed\u010dek a prsten\u00ed\u010dek. Opilec ode\u0161el na pivo a zn\u00e1m\u00fd na nemocenskou s rukou v gypsu\u2026<\/p>\n
Zat\u00edmco v\u0161ichni boxe\u0159i m\u011bli nos zlomen\u00fd i n\u011bkolikr\u00e1t, jedin\u00fd Rocky, \u0161ampion v t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9 v\u00e1ze m\u011bl i po des\u00edtk\u00e1ch z\u00e1pas\u016f rovn\u00fd fr\u0148\u00e1k. Zjevn\u00e1 analogie s vegetari\u00e1nsk\u00fdm \u017eralokem z filmu Hled\u00e1 se Nemo. Po jedn\u00e9 dob\u0159e um\u00edst\u011bn\u00e9 r\u00e1n\u011b zku\u0161en\u00e9ho bijce holou p\u011bst\u00ed by \u0161el b\u011b\u017en\u00fd \u010dlov\u011bk okam\u017eit\u011b k zemi, co\u017e je tak\u00e9 \u00fa\u010delem skute\u010dn\u00e9ho boje, kter\u00fd u\u017e z principu nem\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt \u010dist\u00fd. Nezni\u010diteln\u00fd Bruce jen ve filmu Posledn\u00ed skaut schyt\u00e1 tolik \u00fader\u016f, \u017ee by jej m\u011bly zm\u011bnit v uslintan\u00e9ho idiota s ksichtem jak \u010derstv\u011b naklepan\u00e1 kotleta. On v\u0161ak je\u0161t\u011b hl\u00e1\u0161kuje, nav\u00edc s \u00fasm\u011bvem, na kter\u00e9m mus\u00ed makat 17 nepo\u0161kozen\u00fdch mimick\u00fdch sval\u016f…<\/p>\n
V americk\u00e9m seri\u00e1lu Banshee hlavn\u00ed hrdina sv\u00e1d\u00ed p\u011bstn\u00ed souboje prakticky neust\u00e1le, ani\u017e by to bylo na jeho obli\u010deji \u010di rozumu zn\u00e1t. P\u0159e\u017eije i \u00fader od dvoumetrov\u00e9ho indi\u00e1na, zml\u00e1t\u00ed profesion\u00e1ln\u00edho boxera. Mo\u017en\u00e1 pr\u00e1v\u011b proto se s n\u00edm vysp\u00ed ka\u017ed\u00e1 hezk\u00e1 \u017eensk\u00e1 (jin\u00e9 tam kupodivu nevystupuj\u00ed) v s\u00e9rii. P\u0159itom v \u010dl\u00e1nku \u201eSnadn\u00e9 kontaktn\u00ed zab\u00edjen\u00ed\u201c na serveru \u201etemneuzemi\u201c jsem se do\u010detl, \u017ee p\u0159i re\u00e1ln\u00e9m boji o p\u0159e\u017eit\u00ed se p\u011bsti pou\u017e\u00edvaj\u00ed z\u0159\u00eddka. Efektivn\u00ed zne\u0161kodn\u011bn\u00ed protivn\u00edka dovedl k dokonalosti m\u016fj obl\u00edben\u00fd liter\u00e1rn\u00ed hrdina Jack Reacher. B\u00fdval\u00fd policejn\u00ed vy\u0161et\u0159ovatel a pozd\u011bji tul\u00e1k za\u00fato\u010d\u00ed jako prvn\u00ed a zasad\u00ed obvykle jen jeden \u00fader na nejzraniteln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed m\u00edsto na lidsk\u00e9m t\u011ble. S oblibou zatla\u010d\u00ed nos do mozku \u00faderem \u010delem \u010di loktem nebo prokopne padouchovi koleno. Kdy\u017e u\u017e mus\u00ed boxovat, c\u00edl\u00ed na krk nebo ucho. Boj trv\u00e1 jenom p\u00e1r sekund, v\u00edc nen\u00ed t\u0159eba. S ohleduplnost\u00ed sob\u011b vlastn\u00ed je\u0161t\u011b protivn\u00edka upozorn\u00ed, \u017ee jej \u010dek\u00e1 p\u0159inejlep\u0161\u00edm dlouhodob\u00fd pobyt v nemocnici, p\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b trval\u00e1 invalidita. Ob\u010das u\u017e dop\u0159edu zavol\u00e1 sanitku. Hrdinov\u00e9 v pod\u00e1n\u00ed Willise, Gibsona \u010di Stalloneho by se nesta\u010dili ani nadechnout, aby pronesli n\u011bco vtipn\u00e9ho\u2026<\/p>\n
Kdyby P\u00e1n B\u016fh cht\u011bl, abychom se tloukli p\u011bstmi do obli\u010dej\u016f, m\u011bli bychom m\u00edsto prst\u016f kopyta\u2026<\/p>\n
P.S. To u\u017e v\u016fbec nemluv\u00edm o \u017eensk\u00fdch ak\u010dn\u00edch hrdink\u00e1ch, kter\u00e9 ztv\u00e1r\u0148uj\u00ed t\u0159eba Angelina Jolie (Lara Croft), Scarlett Johansson (Avengers) nebo Shailene Woodley (Divergence), kter\u00e9 maj\u00ed ru\u010di\u010dky jak p\u00e1r\u00e1tka. Na n\u011b bych poslal Ginu Carano (Zkrat), here\u010dku, ale p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm profesion\u00e1ln\u00ed z\u00e1pasnici v MMA (mixed martial arts), co\u017e je sm\u00ed\u0161en\u00e9 bojov\u00e9 um\u011bn\u00ed, samoz\u0159ejm\u011b „plnokontaktn\u00ed“, v n\u011bm\u017e tako jinak velmi atraktivn\u00ed \u017eena dr\u017e\u00ed n\u011bkolik americk\u00fdch rekord\u016f. Slavn\u00fdm kr\u00e1sk\u00e1m by obli\u010dej nedal dohromady ani Bohdan Pomaha\u010d\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"