{"id":1785,"date":"2016-03-27T13:03:00","date_gmt":"2016-03-27T12:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/petrsagitarius.snkjablunkov.cz\/?p=1785"},"modified":"2016-03-27T13:03:00","modified_gmt":"2016-03-27T12:03:00","slug":"vesele-velikonoce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2016\/03\/27\/vesele-velikonoce\/","title":{"rendered":"Vesel\u00e9 Velikonoce"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>V\u010dera jsem v r\u00e1diu po dlouh\u00e9 dob\u011b sly\u0161el \u201eThriller\u201c od Michaela Jacksona. Slavn\u00fd hit se prom\u011bnil v Brumb\u00e1lovu mysl\u00e1nku, do kter\u00e9 jsem se pono\u0159il a znovu spat\u0159il ud\u00e1lost, kter\u00e1 le\u017eela zasuta pod jin\u00fdm haramp\u00e1d\u00edm v komnat\u011b m\u00fdch vzpom\u00ednek. M\u00e1 oslava nejv\u00fdznamn\u011bj\u0161\u00edho k\u0159es\u0165ansk\u00e9ho sv\u00e1tku v roce 1985 nem\u011bla nic spole\u010dn\u00e9ho s n\u00e1bo\u017eenskou tradic\u00ed. \u017d\u00e1dn\u00e9 Velikonoce, Vigilie, Vzk\u0159\u00ed\u0161en\u00ed Krista, \u017e\u00e1dn\u00e1 vrbov\u00e1 poml\u00e1zka, kter\u00e1 \u201emluv\u00ed jednou v roce, m\u00e1 zlat\u00e1 d\u00edvenko, d\u00e1\u0161-li Ty mn\u011b srdce?\u201c, ale Video\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Ov\u0161em tehdy s velk\u00fdm \u201eV\u201c. Mluv\u00edm o dob\u011b, kdy u n\u00e1s existovaly telefony jen s \u010d\u00edseln\u00e9m vyt\u00e1\u010den\u00edm a o mobilech nefantaz\u00edroval ani Steve Jobs. Videop\u0159ehr\u00e1va\u010de, na kapitalistick\u00e9m \u201eZ\u00e1pad\u011b\u201c b\u011b\u017en\u00e1 v\u011bc, byly v socialistick\u00e9m \u010ceskoslovensku vz\u00e1cn\u00e9 jak jednoro\u017eec, a ti kte\u0159\u00ed jej vlastnili, byli s kufrem film\u016f na \u201ev\u00e9h\u00e1esk\u00e1ch\u201c zv\u00e1ni na mejdany. Seance fungovala stejn\u011b, jako kdy\u017e se d\u0159\u00edve u jedin\u00e9ho televizoru v d\u011bdin\u011b sesedli v\u0161ichni soused\u00e9\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Jednoho takov\u00e9ho borce pozval kamar\u00e1d na na\u0161i velikono\u010dn\u00ed p\u00e1rty na chat\u011b v Komorn\u00ed Lhotce, co\u017e se pozd\u011bji uk\u00e1zalo jako \u0161patn\u00fd n\u00e1pad. P\u016fvodn\u00ed pl\u00e1n byl jednoduch\u00fd, v\u011bnovat se alkoholu a d\u00edvk\u00e1m. Pro m\u011b v opa\u010dn\u00e9m po\u0159ad\u00ed. P\u0159\u00edtelkyn\u011b Tom\u00e1\u0161e, buldozera d\u00edv\u010d\u00edch srdc\u00ed a majitele chaty, zas pozvala pro n\u00e1s \u201echlapy\u201c n\u011bkolik sv\u00fdch nezadan\u00fdch kamar\u00e1dek. Jako osam\u011bl\u00fd plach\u00fd introvert jsem doufal, \u017ee s jednou z nich po nezbytn\u00e9m romantick\u00e9m tlach\u00e1n\u00ed a p\u00e1r skleni\u010dk\u00e1ch v\u00edna skon\u010d\u00edm v posteli. Miloval jsem tehdy d\u00edvku, kter\u00e1 m\u011b ov\u0161em odm\u00edtala, a tak mi nezbylo ne\u017e cht\u00edt tu, kter\u00e1 by cht\u011bla m\u011b.  Slibn\u011b se rozv\u00edjej\u00edc\u00ed se ned\u011ble v\u0161ak nabral jin\u00fd sm\u011br ve chv\u00edli, kdy do videorekord\u00e9ru zajela prvn\u00ed kazeta\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Jakmile se na obrazovce objevil svalnat\u00fd Schwarzenegger, co by Barbar Conan, vt\u00e1hla n\u00e1s video seance, kterou nikdo z p\u0159\u00edtomn\u00fdch neza\u017eil, jako malstr\u00f3m do zapov\u011bzen\u00e9ho sv\u011bta za \u017deleznou oponou. Kdy\u017e komiks vyst\u0159\u00eddaly soulo\u017e\u00edc\u00ed n\u011bmeck\u00e9 zdravotn\u00ed sest\u0159i\u010dky, prvn\u00ed porno, kter\u00e9 jsme v \u017eivot\u011b vid\u011bli, okoln\u00ed sv\u011bt p\u0159estal existovat. N\u00e1sledovali zomb\u00edci ve videoklipu \u201eThriller\u201c. Pak filmy jako &#8222;Lesn\u00ed duch&#8220;,\u201eTermin\u00e1tor\u201c, \u201eV\u011bc\u201c \u201eNi\u010ditel Conan\u201c a dal\u0161\u00ed trh\u00e1ky, v\u017edy prokl\u00e1dan\u00e9 p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhy z nemocni\u010dn\u00edch za\u0159\u00edzen\u00ed v N\u011bmeck\u00e9 spolkov\u00e9 republice. Holky to z\u00e1hy p\u0159estalo bavit, tak\u017ee p\u0159ed videem z\u016fstalo tr\u010det jen zhypnotizovan\u00e9 mu\u017esk\u00e9 osazenstvo chaty, kter\u00e9 do sebe h\u00e1zelo pan\u00e1ky a zaj\u00eddalo je chleb\u00ed\u010dky. Ob\u010das do zakou\u0159en\u00e9 m\u00edstnosti nakoukla n\u011bkter\u00e1 z d\u00edvek, ale ihned na\u0161tvan\u011b zabouchla dve\u0159e. I kdyby m\u011bla na sob\u011b pouze \u010depe\u010dek a stetoskop, nikdo z n\u00e1s by ji nevn\u00edmal\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Koukali jsme tehdy na video nep\u0159etr\u017eit\u011b od p\u011bti odpoledne do jedn\u00e9 hodiny n\u00e1sleduj\u00edc\u00edho dne. Kdy\u017e jsme m\u00e1to\u017en\u011b vylezli na sv\u011btlo, holky zmizely a na stole le\u017eel l\u00edste\u010dek \u201eTrhn\u011bte si nohou, pitomci. P.S Vesel\u00e9 Velikonoce\u201c\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2016\/03\/27\/vesele-velikonoce\/\">\u010c\u00edst v\u00edce&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nezarazene"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1785"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1785\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}