{"id":230,"date":"2015-03-04T16:55:47","date_gmt":"2015-03-04T15:55:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/petrsagitarius.snkjablunkov.cz\/?p=230"},"modified":"2015-03-04T16:55:47","modified_gmt":"2015-03-04T15:55:47","slug":"teorie-vseho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2015\/03\/04\/teorie-vseho\/","title":{"rendered":"Teorie v\u0161eho"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Aby t\u011bch pr\u016f\u0161vih\u016f a \u0161patn\u00fdch zpr\u00e1v v\u00a0posledn\u00edch m\u011bs\u00edc\u00edch nebylo m\u00e1lo, p\u0159i\u0161el server Novinky.cz se zpr\u00e1vou, \u017ee \u201eVelk\u00fd t\u0159esk nikdy nebyl\u201c. Zjistili to pr\u00fd fyzikov\u00e9 z\u00a0Kanady a Egypta. Zat\u00edmco slavn\u00e1 kosmologick\u00e1 teorie vych\u00e1z\u00ed z\u00a0p\u0159edpokladu, \u017ee na po\u010d\u00e1tku v\u0161eho byla nekone\u010dn\u011b hmotn\u00e1 singularita, tedy jak\u00fdsi jedine\u010dn\u00fd bod velikosti \u0161pan\u011blsk\u00e9ho pomeran\u010de, s\u00a0n\u00edm\u017e N\u011bkdo neopatrn\u011b manipuloval, \u010d\u00edm\u017e zp\u016fsobil jeho explozi a vytvo\u0159il prostor a \u010das. A s\u00a0nimi i cel\u00fd Vesm\u00edr, kter\u00fd se st\u00e1le rozp\u00edn\u00e1, co\u017e je po r\u00e1nu viditeln\u00e9 pouh\u00fdm okem p\u0159i vstupu na v\u00e1hu. Odp\u016frci Velk\u00e9ho t\u0159esku naopak tvrd\u00ed, \u017ee vesm\u00edr nem\u00e1 po\u010d\u00e1tek, \u017ee tu byl v\u017edycky. Rozd\u00edl obou teori\u00ed je na\u0161im mozk\u016fm \u0161um\u00e1k, nepochopiteln\u00e9 jsou ob\u011b. Osobn\u011b douf\u00e1m, \u017ee zpr\u00e1va z\u00a0Novinek m\u00e1 stejnou vypov\u00eddac\u00ed hodnotu jako informace o tom, \u017ee tunel Blanka bude otev\u0159en v\u00a0dubnu\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Pokud by se v\u0161ak opravdu poda\u0159ilo n\u011bkomu Big Bang zpochybnit, v\u00fdrazn\u011b to ovlivn\u00ed m\u016fj optimismus. V\u00a0m\u00e9m ch\u00e1p\u00e1n\u00ed Vesm\u00edru sm\u011b\u0159uje \u010das line\u00e1rn\u011b z\u00a0bodu Alfa do bodu Omega, kde se jako jojo zastav\u00ed a bude se smr\u0161\u0165ovat zp\u011bt, co\u017e povede k\u00a0tomu, \u017ee sv\u016fj \u017eivot pro\u017eijeme znovu. Ne \u017ee bych vylo\u017een\u011b tou\u017eil op\u011bt vid\u011bt n\u011bkter\u00e9 osoby, ale jinak to m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt sranda. T\u0159eba se mi na gymplu poda\u0159\u00ed kone\u010dn\u011b sbalit ko\u010dky, na kter\u00e9 jsem si z\u00a0vrozen\u00e9 plachosti netroufnul ani promluvit. Ale pokud se to nikdy nestalo, op\u011bt kolem nich projdu s\u00a0otev\u0159enou pusou, ov\u0161em pozp\u00e1tku\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Tak\u00e9 pevn\u011b douf\u00e1m, \u017ee spolu s teori\u00ed Velk\u00e9ho t\u0159esku neskon\u010d\u00ed ve stoup\u011b i m\u016fj nejobl\u00edben\u011bj\u0161\u00ed seri\u00e1l stejn\u00e9ho jm\u00e9na. P\u0159\u00edb\u011bhy t\u0159\u00ed doktor\u016f a Howarda Wolowitze, geni\u00e1ln\u00edch v\u011bdc\u016f s du\u0161\u00ed dvan\u00e1ctilet\u00fdch fand\u016f komiks\u016f a Hv\u011bzdn\u00fdch v\u00e1lek, kter\u00e9 provokuje sexy sousedka Penny, serv\u00edrka z\u00a0Tvarohov\u00e9ho r\u00e1je, jsou mnohdy jedin\u00fdm spolehliv\u00fdm antidepresivem proti v\u0161em chmur\u00e1m. Hl\u00e1\u0161ky jako Sheldon Leonardovi: \u201ePodle m\u011b m\u00e1\u0161 asi takovou \u0161anci na nav\u00e1z\u00e1n\u00ed sexu\u00e1ln\u00edho vztahu s Penny, jakou m\u00e1 Hubble\u016fv teleskop na to, \u017ee ve st\u0159edu ka\u017ed\u00fd \u010dern\u00fd d\u00edry najde mu\u017e\u00ed\u010dka s baterkou, jak tam hled\u00e1 pojistky.\u201c nebo Sheldon: \u201e\u017deny jsou jako vaje\u010dn\u00fd sendvi\u010d na slunci. Pln\u00fd vaj\u00ed\u010dek, ale l\u00e1kav\u00fd jen po kr\u00e1tkou dobu\u201c, proberou i t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9ho letargika\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Pravdou ale z\u016fst\u00e1v\u00e1, \u017ee Kana\u010fani s\u00a0Egyp\u0165any zat\u00edm zpochyb\u0148uj\u00ed neprok\u00e1zan\u00e9. Loni ozn\u00e1mili Ameri\u010dani, \u017ee na\u0161li d\u016fkazy podporuj\u00edc\u00ed teorii Velk\u00e9ho t\u0159esku, ov\u0161em cel\u00e1 konstrukce zat\u00edm sp\u00ed\u0161 vypad\u00e1 jako ze zm\u00edn\u011bn\u00e9ho seri\u00e1lu, kde Sheldon b\u011bhem spole\u010dn\u00e9 v\u00fdpravy hrdin\u016f do Arktidy prok\u00e1zal existenci magnetick\u00fdch monopol\u016f a t\u00edm i teorii superstrun. Jeho p\u0159\u00edstroje v\u0161ak zachytily pouze zvuk elektrick\u00e9ho otv\u00edr\u00e1ku na konzervy, kter\u00fd zap\u00ednali Leonard a spol., aby m\u011bli od otravn\u00e9ho g\u00e9nia pokoj a nemuseli ho zamordovat\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Kdy\u017e se dva bij\u00ed, t\u0159et\u00ed vyhr\u00e1v\u00e1! V\u00a0roce 2005 p\u0159i\u0161el fyzik Henderson z\u00a0Oregonu s\u00a0novou kosmologickou teori\u00ed. Vesm\u00edr, \u017eivot a v\u0161e kolem n\u00e1s stvo\u0159ilo <strong>L\u00e9taj\u00edc\u00ed \u0161pagetov\u00e9 monstrum<\/strong>. Na z\u00e1klad\u011b tohoto p\u0159evratn\u00e9ho objevu vzniklo n\u00e1bo\u017eenstv\u00ed, jeho\u017e p\u0159\u00edslu\u0161n\u00edci si \u0159\u00edkaj\u00ed pastafari\u00e1ni. Po vzoru \u017did\u016f, muslimek a jepti\u0161ek nos\u00ed pokr\u00fdvku hlavy, cedn\u00edk, a v\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee sv\u011bt byl stvo\u0159en \u0160pagetov\u00fdm monstrem den pot\u00e9, co P\u0159\u00ed\u0161era stra\u0161n\u011b chlastala, \u010d\u00edm\u017e si vysv\u011btluj\u00ed vznik v\u0161ech nepravost\u00ed, kter\u00e9 n\u00e1s prov\u00e1zej\u00ed. Nejsv\u011bt\u011bj\u0161\u00edmi bytostmi jsou pak podle pastafari\u00e1n\u016f pir\u00e1ti. S\u00a0jejich \u00fabytkem po roce 1800 doch\u00e1z\u00ed k\u00a0\u010dast\u00fdm p\u0159\u00edrodn\u00edm katastrof\u00e1m a glob\u00e1ln\u00edmu ochlazov\u00e1n\u00ed. D\u016fkazem tohoto tvrzen\u00ed je Som\u00e1lsko, co\u017e je d\u00edky pir\u00e1t\u016fm zem\u011b s\u00a0nejni\u017e\u0161\u00ed produkc\u00ed sklen\u00edkov\u00fdch plyn\u016f na sv\u011bt\u011b. V\u00a0nebi jsou podle t\u00e9to v\u00edry stript\u00e9rky a pivo. V pekle je to stejn\u00e9, akor\u00e1t stript\u00e9rky jsou naka\u017een\u00e9 a pivo zv\u011btral\u00e9\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Bazinga!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2015\/03\/04\/teorie-vseho\/\">\u010c\u00edst v\u00edce&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nezarazene"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/230","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=230"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/230\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}