{"id":2629,"date":"2016-11-16T12:08:48","date_gmt":"2016-11-16T11:08:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/petrsagitarius.snkjablunkov.cz\/?p=2629"},"modified":"2016-11-16T12:08:48","modified_gmt":"2016-11-16T11:08:48","slug":"cisar-pan-je-vul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2016\/11\/16\/cisar-pan-je-vul\/","title":{"rendered":"C\u00edsa\u0159 p\u00e1n je v\u016fl!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Prvn\u00ed politick\u00fd vtip, kter\u00fd si pamatuji, byl z doby, kdy nemocn\u00fd prezident Ludv\u00edk Svoboda natahoval ba\u010dkory. V hlav\u011b mi utkv\u011bla v\u011bta \u201e\u0160trougale, ty pytl\u00edku. Stoj\u00ed\u0161 mi na kysl\u00edku\u201c. Ba\u010dkory si definitivn\u011b hrdina od Dukly a podraz\u00e1k z \u00fanora 1948 nazul a\u017e v roce 1979. Ale u\u017e v sedmdes\u00e1t\u00e9m p\u00e1t\u00e9m jej ve funkci st\u0159\u00eddal legend\u00e1rn\u00ed Gust\u00e1v Hus\u00e1k. Okam\u017eit\u011b se vyrojily vtipy\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Klasick\u00fd je o tom, jak se Hus\u00e1k nech\u00e1 zmrazit, probud\u00ed se v roce 2020 a marn\u011b se lid\u00ed na V\u00e1clav\u00e1ku dopt\u00e1v\u00e1, kde najde \u00daV KS\u010c a d\u011bda s fajfkou mu porad\u00ed, \u017ee posledn\u00ed komunisti je\u0161t\u011b \u017eij\u00ed na \u0160umav\u011b a v Tatr\u00e1ch, ale pokud si chce zast\u0159\u00edlet, tak na n\u011b mus\u00ed opatrn\u011b, proto\u017ee jsou velmi pla\u0161\u00ed. Tragick\u00e9 na to je, \u017ee dnes by jej d\u011bda, s\u00e1m star\u00fd komunista, poslal do sn\u011bmovny \u010di sen\u00e1tu a v roce 2020 mo\u017en\u00e1 do s\u00eddla vl\u00e1dy\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Velmi popul\u00e1rn\u00ed byly f\u00f3ry na p\u0159\u00edslu\u0161n\u00edky ve\u0159ejn\u00e9 bezpe\u010dnosti \u201ePro\u010d d\u00e1vaj\u00ed policajti noviny do ledni\u010dky? Aby m\u011bli \u010derstv\u00e9 zpr\u00e1vy\u201c. Lid\u00e9 si d\u011blali srandu z kremelsk\u00fdch geront\u016f. Ba\u010da vol\u00e1 p\u0159es kopec na druh\u00e9ho ba\u010du, \u201eBre\u017en\u011bv zomrel\u201c, druh\u00fd ba\u010da k\u0159i\u010d\u00ed \u201e\u010co\u017e\u00e9?\u201c, Bre\u017en\u011bv zomr\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9l!\u201c, \u201e\u010co\u017e\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9?\u201c. Kdy\u017e se to opakuje u\u017e po p\u00e1t\u00e9, vol\u00e1 prvn\u00ed ba\u010da, \u201eTy si hluch\u00fd?\u201c a druh\u00fd ba\u010da odpov\u00ed, \u201eNie, ale dobre sa to po\u010d\u00fava\u201c. Vtip fungoval jako obrann\u00fd mechanismus proti totalit\u011b a ka\u017edodenn\u00ed absurdit\u011b re\u00e1ln\u00e9ho socialismu. U\u017e Heydrich nazval \u010cechy sm\u011bj\u00edc\u00edmi se bestiemi. Po Sametov\u00e9 revoluci p\u0159i\u0161la svoboda v\u010detn\u011b svobody slova a projevu. Samoz\u0159ejm\u011b, v\u0161echno m\u00e1 sv\u00e9 meze. Kdy\u017e \u0159eknu docentu Konvi\u010dkovi p\u0159ed sv\u011bdky do o\u010d\u00ed, \u017ee je \u201e\u010du.\u00e1k\u201c, m\u016f\u017ee m\u011b \u017ealovat za ur\u00e1\u017eku na cti, by\u0165 \u017e\u00e1dnou nem\u00e1. V modern\u00edm \u010desk\u00e9m pr\u00e1vu jde o p\u0159estupek proti ob\u010dansk\u00e9mu sou\u017eit\u00ed. K tomuto v\u00fdroku dosp\u011bl i soud v p\u0159\u00edpad\u011b kauzy \u201e\u010derven\u00e9 tren\u00fdrky\u201c na Hrad\u011b. Odvolac\u00ed soud v\u0161ak tento v\u00fdrok zru\u0161il a chce recesi soudit jako trestn\u00fd \u010din. P\u0159ituhuje. A mo\u017en\u00e1 bude je\u0161t\u011b h\u016f\u0159. Skupina \u0161esti des\u00edtek poslanc\u016f zejm\u00e9na z \u010cSSD, KS\u010cM, ANO a hnut\u00ed \u00dasvit hodl\u00e1 vr\u00e1tit do trestn\u00edho z\u00e1kona paragraf, kter\u00fd by postihoval hanoben\u00ed hlavy st\u00e1tu. Podle navr\u017een\u00e9 novely trestn\u00edho z\u00e1kona by za to hrozilo a\u017e ro\u010dn\u00ed v\u011bzen\u00ed! V\u0161ak ty \u010desk\u00e9 bestie p\u0159ejde sm\u00edch\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Za dva roky, co blog \u201eJable\u010dno\u201c funguje, jsem na\u0161i vep\u0159ovou hlavu st\u00e1tu zhanobil na v\u0161echny mo\u017en\u00e9 zp\u016fsoby. Na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed jsem se sv\u00fdmi trapn\u00fdmi r\u00e1doby vtipn\u00fdmi \u010dl\u00e1nky v pozici vyskakuj\u00edc\u00ed si blechy vedle d\u016fstojn\u00e9ho hrocha. A p\u0159\u00edznivci pana prezidenta Milo\u0161e Zemana, kte\u0159\u00ed \u010dtou tento blog, jist\u011b \u0159eknou, \u017ee i tak si fand\u00edm. Kdyby se v\u0161ak do n\u011bj n\u011bjak\u00fdm \u0159\u00edzen\u00edm za\u010detla jedna z p\u0159edkladatel\u016f nov\u00e9ho paragrafu poslankyn\u011b Marta Semelov\u00e1, kter\u00e1 zpochybnila nevinu Milady Hor\u00e1kov\u00e9, a \u017ealovala m\u011b, tak zcela jist\u011b spravedliv\u00e9 ruce z\u00e1kona neuniknu. Pokud by nedej bo\u017ee novela z\u00e1kona n\u00e1padn\u011b p\u0159ipom\u00ednaj\u00edc\u00ed postihy za hanoben\u00ed Hus\u00e1ka s Bre\u017en\u011bvem, pro\u0161la, tak si je\u0161t\u011b \u201ezahanob\u00edm\u201c, ne\u017e vstoup\u00ed v platnost.<br \/>\nMilo\u0161 Zeman je v\u016fl\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Ligu\u00e9re\u2026<\/p>\n<p>P.S. Poslanci pr\u00fd cht\u011bj\u00ed vychovat lidi, aby neur\u00e1\u017eeli prezidenta. Kdyby rad\u011bji vychovali prezidenta, aby neur\u00e1\u017eel lidi\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2016\/11\/16\/cisar-pan-je-vul\/\">\u010c\u00edst v\u00edce&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2629","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nezarazene"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2629","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2629"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2629\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2629"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2629"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2629"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}