{"id":2971,"date":"2017-02-17T16:47:22","date_gmt":"2017-02-17T15:47:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/petrsagitarius.snkjablunkov.cz\/?p=2971"},"modified":"2017-02-17T16:47:22","modified_gmt":"2017-02-17T15:47:22","slug":"amerycka-etyketa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2017\/02\/17\/amerycka-etyketa\/","title":{"rendered":"Ameryck\u00e1 etyketa"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Kone\u010dn\u011b! Zkostnat\u011bl\u00e1 pravidla \u201edobr\u00fdch mrav\u016f\u201c dostala knockout. D\u00e1vno p\u0159e\u017eit\u00e1 a svazuj\u00edc\u00ed etiketa, kterou si po stalet\u00ed vynucovaly elity, praskla jako \u017eelezn\u00e9 obru\u010de \u010darod\u011bje z poh\u00e1dky, jako t\u011bsn\u00fd korzet d\u00e1my Viktori\u00e1nsk\u00e9 doby. Spole\u010densk\u00fd katechismus Gutha-Jarkovsk\u00e9ho putuje do stoupy. \u010cerstv\u00fd v\u00edtr zav\u00e1l z Ameriky&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Prezident USA zve\u0159ejnil na sv\u00e9m twitteru nov\u00e1 pravidla pro pod\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00ed si ruky se st\u00e1tn\u00edky. A\u017e bude m\u00edt n\u011bkdy \u010das, vyd\u00e1 je pr\u00fd pod titulem \u201eJak si pot\u0159\u00e1s\u00e1m rukou s lidmi a v\u016fbec\u201c. Donald Trump roz\u010dlenil sv\u016fj uv\u00edtac\u00ed ritu\u00e1l mezilidsk\u00e9 komunikace s hlavami st\u00e1t\u016f geopoliticky. P\u00ed\u0161e, cituji&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>M\u00e1 pravidla pro:<\/p>\n<p>A)\tZem\u011b, kde lidi mluv\u00ed stejn\u00fdm jazykem jako j\u00e1, st\u00e1ty Evropsk\u00e9 unie a tam, jak vynalezli p\u0159esn\u00e9 hodinky a ml\u00e9\u010dnou \u010dokol\u00e1du: Pravou rukou uchop\u00edm jeho pravou ruku, pak sev\u0159u jeho dla\u0148 pevn\u00fdm stiskem a cuknu svou rukou sm\u011brem ke mn\u011b. Drt\u00edm jeho ruku tak dlouho, dokud si v duchu desetkr\u00e1t nep\u0159e\u0159\u00edk\u00e1m slovo \u201eAmerica first\u201c.   Pokud ten druh\u00fd za\u010dne opl\u00e1cet, tak zes\u00edl\u00edm stisk&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>B)\tZem\u011b, kde je velk\u00e1 zima, jako \u0160v\u00e9dsko, Alja\u0161ka, Island, Gr\u00f3nsko, Norsko, Finsko, Antarktida: Stejn\u00fd postup jako p\u0159edn\u00edm, akor\u00e1t svou levou rukou p\u0159it\u00e1hnu ke sv\u00e9mu obli\u010deji tak\u00e9 jeho hlavu a t\u0159u sv\u016fj nos o jeho nos..<\/p>\n<p>C)\tZem\u011b, kde vl\u00e1dnou komunisti a m\u016fj osobn\u00ed p\u0159\u00edtel Vladim\u00edr Vladim\u00edrovi\u010d: \u201eSvou ruku nat\u00e1hnu  vodororn\u011b p\u0159ed sebe, pak ji ohnu v lokti k sob\u011b a sev\u0159en\u00fdm ukazov\u00e1\u010dkem a prost\u0159edn\u00ed\u010dkem se dotknu srdce a znovu ruku nat\u00e1hnu. Zat\u00edmco postup dvakr\u00e1t zopakuji, \u0159eknu prezidentovi pomalu a z\u0159eteln\u011b, tak, aby mi rozum\u011bl, proto\u017ee komunisti americky neum\u00ed, \u201eJ\u00e1 velk\u00fd bratr \u2013 zdravit \u2013 rud\u00fd bratr\u201c&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>D)\tZem\u011b, kde vl\u00e1dnou teroristi: Uchop\u00edm svou levou rukou jeho levou ruku (poradce mi \u0159ekl, \u017ee si muslimov\u00e9 levou ut\u00edraj\u00ed zadek, pr\u00fd je t\u00edm uraz\u00edm) a op\u011bt ji drt\u00edm. Oni jsou zl\u00ed, proto\u017ee nejsou dob\u0159\u00ed. Oni jsou nep\u0159\u00e1tel\u00e9 Ameriky&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>E)\tZem\u011b, kde vl\u00e1dnou sp\u0159\u00e1telen\u00ed bambus\u00e1ci, jako Ji\u017en\u00ed Korea a Japonsko a ty ostrovy n\u00ed\u017e, co tam m\u00e1me vojensk\u00e9 z\u00e1kladny: Op\u011bt mu pevn\u011b sev\u0159u jeho prava\u010dku, p\u0159it\u00e1hnout si doty\u010dn\u00e9ho a do ucha mu za\u0161ept\u00e1m, \u017ee mu zvy\u0161uji v\u00fdpaln\u00e9 za ochranu zem\u011b&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>F)\tZem\u011b, kde vl\u00e1dnou \u010dern\u00ed, jako t\u0159eba Afrika: Provedu rychle doln\u00ed \u00fachop ruky, n\u00e1sledn\u011b horn\u00ed, pak si vz\u00e1jemn\u011b \u0165ukneme p\u011bst\u00ed o p\u011bst, po\u0161ko\u010d\u00edm na lev\u00e9 noze, uk\u00e1\u017eu na n\u011bj prstem a zvol\u00e1m \u201eJak to jde, neg\u0159e?\u201c&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>G)\tZem\u011b na jih od m\u00e9 zdi, kde v\u0161ichni mluv\u00ed jazykem jako m\u00e9 slu\u017eky: Zm\u00e1\u010dknu mu ruku co nejsiln\u011bji na patn\u00e1ctkr\u00e1t \u201eAmerika first\u201c a za\u0161ept\u00e1m mu do ucha \u201eHl\u00eddej si ty svoje kaktusy rad\u011bji doma, u n\u00e1s nechci vid\u011bt ani jednoho, oslopichu!\u201c<\/p>\n<p>H)\tZem\u011b, kde vl\u00e1dnou baby: Proto\u017ee v\u0161echny jsou na \u0161patn\u00e9 stran\u011b menopauzy, sta\u010d\u00ed, \u017ee jim na jedno \u201eAmerica first\u201c zm\u00e1\u010dnu ruku a p\u0159edst\u00edr\u00e1m z\u00e1jem&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I)\tZem\u011b, kde se narodila Ivanka: M\u016fj kamar\u00e1d Milo\u0161 je dobr\u00fd, proto\u017ee nen\u00ed zl\u00fd. Obejmu jej a l\u00edb\u00e1m po francouzsku na p\u011btkr\u00e1t \u201eAmerica first\u201c&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\t\t\t\t<![CDATA[]]>\t\t <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/2017\/02\/17\/amerycka-etyketa\/\">\u010c\u00edst v\u00edce&#8230;&#8230;&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nezarazene"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2971","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2971"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2971\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2971"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2971"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jablecno.cz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2971"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}