Oper\u00e1tor p\u0159ijme hovor. \u201ePomozte pros\u00edm, jak\u00fdsi svalovec v modr\u00e9m trikotu s \u017elut\u00fdm p\u00edsmenem S na hrudi a v \u010derven\u00e9m pl\u00e1\u0161ti pr\u00e1v\u011b popadl mou man\u017eelku a odlet\u011bl s n\u00ed nezn\u00e1mo kam\u201c. Kolega na jin\u00e9 lince zas vysv\u011btluje volaj\u00edc\u00ed osob\u011b, \u017ee kol\u00e9baj\u00edc\u00ed se tvor s velkou hlavou na \u00fazk\u00e9m krku, vypoulen\u00fdma o\u010dima a se zdvi\u017een\u00fdm blikaj\u00edc\u00edm prstem nen\u00ed E.T. Mimozem\u0161\u0165an, ale patrn\u011b p\u0159erostl\u00fd outlo\u0148 j\u00e1vsk\u00fd, kter\u00fd uprchl z m\u00edstn\u00ed ZOO\u2026\u00a8<\/p>\n
Spojen\u00e9 st\u00e1ty Americk\u00e9 \u010del\u00ed u\u017e druh\u00fd den neb\u00fdval\u00e9 invazi vet\u0159elc\u016f z Vesm\u00edru. Nahl\u00e1\u0161eno bylo rovn\u011b\u017e napaden\u00ed blon\u010f\u00e1kem s ob\u0159\u00edm kladivem. Velk\u00fd rozruch vyvolal tak\u00e9 statn\u00fd obrn\u011bnec s ksichtem \u017e\u00e1by a s dredy jako Bob Marley, kter\u00fd sk\u00e1kal po stromech v newyorsk\u00e9m Central parku a d\u00edky dokonal\u00e9mu mimikry spl\u00fdval s m\u00edstn\u00ed zelen\u00ed. Nejv\u011bt\u0161\u00ed zd\u011b\u0161en\u00ed v\u0161ak zp\u016fsobilo zv\u00ed\u0159e s prot\u00e1hlou hlavou p\u0159ipom\u00ednaj\u00edc\u00ed ban\u00e1n, jen\u017e sv\u00fdm slizem prop\u00e1lilo kurn\u00edk pan\u00ed Cooperov\u00e9 z v\u00fdchodn\u00edho Texasu, na\u010de\u017e vyst\u0159elilo z huby cvakaj\u00edc\u00ed \u010delisti, kter\u00fdmi zabilo n\u011bkolik slepic\u2026<\/p>\n
Ve st\u0159edu 26. dubna zprovoznil nov\u00fd \u00fa\u0159ad s n\u00e1zvem \u201eThe Voice\u201c horkou linku, kam mohou ob\u010dan\u00e9 USA hl\u00e1sit zlo\u010dinnost p\u00e1chanou neleg\u00e1ln\u00edmi imigranty. Dekret o z\u0159\u00edzen\u00ed \u00fa\u0159adu podepsal prezident Trump u\u017e v lednu v r\u00e1mci dodr\u017een\u00ed sv\u00fdch p\u0159edvolebn\u00edch slib\u016f o tom, \u017ee r\u00e1zn\u011b zato\u010d\u00ed se v\u0161emi podez\u0159el\u00fdmi p\u0159ist\u011bhovalci. Pod heslem \u201eThe VOICE office will assist victims of crimes committed by criminal aliens\u201c, m\u00e1 \u00fa\u0159ad pom\u00e1hat ob\u011btem trestn\u00fdch \u010din\u016f sp\u00e1chan\u00fdch zlo\u010dinn\u00fdmi cizinci. Probl\u00e9m spo\u010d\u00edv\u00e1 v tom, \u017ee anglick\u00fd v\u00fdraz \u201ealien\u201c znamen\u00e1 cizinec i mimozem\u0161\u0165an. Dodnes vzpom\u00edn\u00e1m, jak jsem s nap\u011bt\u00edm sledoval v t\u0159ineck\u00e9m kin\u011b Kosmos za\u010d\u00e1tek slavn\u00e9ho sci-fi hororu Vet\u0159elec, kdy se na pl\u00e1tn\u011b pomalu zjevuje za zvuku temn\u00e9 hudby titulek ALIEN. Obvykl\u00fd v\u00fdplod Trumpova intelektu se zat\u00edm m\u00edj\u00ed \u00fa\u010dinkem, alespo\u0148 co se krimin\u00e1ln\u00edch neamerick\u00fdch \u017eivl\u016f t\u00fd\u010de. Zato roste po\u010det vtipn\u00fdch hl\u00e1\u0161en\u00ed o napaden\u00ed mimozem\u0161\u0165any po\u010d\u00ednaje Supermanem a kon\u010de Vet\u0159elcem\u2026<\/p>\n
Je pouze ot\u00e1zkou \u010dasu, kdy \u00fa\u0159ad p\u0159ijme telefon\u00e1t o pohybu tvora se \u017elutou p\u0159ehazova\u010dkou na hlav\u011b a kap\u0159\u00edmi rty, kter\u00fd sv\u00fdm neuv\u00e1\u017een\u00fdm chov\u00e1n\u00edm ohro\u017euje bezpe\u010dnost nejen Spojen\u00fdch st\u00e1t\u016f, ale tak\u00e9 cel\u00e9ho sv\u011bta\u2026<\/p>\n
M\u011bl by b\u00fdt okam\u017eit\u011b odchycen a vyst\u0159elen zp\u011bt do Vesm\u00edru\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"